Scripts, Saskia and Selfishness

Lots of important decisions to make this weekend and I am feeling as though I have two voices in my head …….. One says you deserve time to yourself to do your own thing, and the world is full of working Mums who happily leave their children in other’s care.  And the other one which is saying, oh my little baby girl is only 2 and needs her mummy.  Also she is the only one of my children who tries to speak Spanish to me.  The only way is to spend more time with her reading books and chatting, and also get her brothers to speak more English to her as her day to day world is completely Cuban.  On top of everything she is rather a joy to be with right now, talking talking talking and very affectionate.  Lots of cuddles and kisses and I love you Mummy.

I have been trying to do script workshops at the film school and it is not always easy to find ones that fit into my schedule and that I feel able to do.  Right now I am getting ready to start a course on “Short film theory and practice: creating characters, scenes and sequences“ with Paul Duran from LA.  But I am in a bit of turmoil.  I am very lucky to have a nanny, who is both honest and a very nice person, but she is still not taking charge of my 3 children with enough energy or commitment.  She doesn’t work too many hours as most of the time I am here except the 2 days a week when I go to the film school.  Anyway, the idea being that she will learn from me and I will be more free to work in the future when she can step up. I know I am probably just being neurotic about leaving them.

So our yearly trip to Guadalajara is looming and I am thinking how can I do a 2 week workshop and then hop on a plane to Guadalajara for 4 nights, am I crazy?  I know that the guilt is not helped by the fact that I do not feel convinced by the nanny.  I must have faith.  When I am not around I think she will step up!

Teachers´party in the house tonight for 80.  Leaving party for our good friend Miguel who is sadly off to New York and a possy from the US (Morgan’s Creek etc.) arriving for drinks on Sunday night and I should be calmly preparing everything for my 2 weeks of going back to school.  Like what the hell am I going to write a script about????

 

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2 Responses to Scripts, Saskia and Selfishness

  1. Selena says:

    It’s certainly normal to feel guilty about leaving your children, but you have to remember that they will leave you in the end, so it’s important to keep your life going now. When they’re gone, you’ll be able to continue without feeling as badly as those parents who put themselves completely into raising their children.

    That being said, it does pay to be careful with nannies. I raised my own children except for the occasional help, because of the terrible stories I heard from friends. One of my friends had her children with a lovely Filipina nanny who loved them, but simply wasn’t as attentive as a mother could be and the youngest fell into the pool and drowned at 18 months. So, do be careful, especially as you have the sea right there.

    • Josephine says:

      gosh what a horror story! My nanny is pretty vigilant I just have to be on top of her to make sure she makes the children do things rather than doing everything for them. It is harder to make children pick up their toys than pick them up yourselves. we built a fence in front of the sea when we arrived and now the children are so blase, its as though they have forgotten the sea is there unless we are all swimming at the weekends. the script course is going fine and it was good for me to do something!

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